3 sex and relationship experts share what makes them feel sexy

2017-04-06T16:41:10Z

The INSIDER Summary:

What it means to "feel sexy" is unique to each individual.
We asked three sex and relationship experts to share their personal definitions.
They mentioned embracing your individuality, avoiding talk about other people's bodies, and taking fabulous selfies.

What does it mean to feel sexy?

As these sex and relationship experts will tell you, there's no one right answer.

Following their presentations at the Explore More Summit, a 10-day series of talks about sexuality, relationships, and self-love, we asked each of them to share their own definition.

Here's what they said will help anyone embrace their sexiness.

Embrace your individuality.

"I think 'feeling sexy' is unique to each person," said Elle Chase, author of "Curvy Girl Sex," and Director of Education at the Los Angeles Academy of Sex Education. "We’re all an amalgamation of experiences, blend in our personality, sense of humor, and a hundred other things that make us who we are and you have your own brand of sexy that you emanate!"

Listen to your body.

"Focusing on what turns you on really does it for me," said Chase. "Sometimes I’ll reminisce about a past dalliance which will get me in the mood. If that doesn’t work, think about what kinds of things get your juices flowing, what you fantasize about, or when you feel most turned on."

Be mindful of the media you consume.

"I'm very mindful about what media I ingest in terms of depictions of women's bodies and how much of that I let into my world," said Kate McCombs, founder of Sex Geekdom, a global community for people who love having geeky conversations about sexuality. "When I started curating that better, I noticed feeling a hell of a lot better about my body."

Avoid talking about other people's bodies.

"I enjoy being around people who, when they compliment others about appearance, it would be about style or the effort that someone's put into a good outfit, or an expression of self, not about how fat they are or anything relating to the actual body," said McCombs. "That has made a huge difference in how I experience the world. And having a partner who is also on that wavelength has made a really huge difference."

Take fabulous selfies.

"I had this amazing experience about two years ago where I don’t exactly know what happened, but I think I had taken a lot of sexy selfies and was completely sure that I was the hottest person on the planet," said Virgie Tovar, editor of the anthology "Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love & Fashion" and creator of Babecamp, an online course to help people ditch diet culture. "It made orgasms easier — and better! It made acting on my desire easier. It was amazing."

Follow INSIDER on Facebook.

Follow INSIDER on Twitter.